Applibility

Buying a ticket at the airport is of course a possibility!
It’s only the ”buying over the counter” that is not an option. Just as my Serentripity by train, having the application of the chosen airline company, a flight ticket can be booked (by latest one hour before take off*) even from the airport.

This time, I didn’t go that far before booking as my trip already had a decided destination. Therefore, I packed my luggage, left the house and booked the flight on the way into town. The first hotel reservation was done just before the lights of fasten seatbelts switched on.

Since some time, I am affected by exhaustion syndrome. With that comes difficulties of making decisions and moments of general anxiety, e.g. I feel nervous, just like before a speech for a group of people.

The day before leaving, the planning and booking of the trip seemed like an enormous mountain to climb. Sunday morning, after having decided to postpone the trip, taking at the same time a quick glance for later flights that day…, I set my mobile alarm for two hours later and started to clean my kitchen.

Letting go of the trip, gave birth to a new wish to actually do it and once decided, I have never packed a suitcase so quickly. All I checked before leaving the house was that it was still possible to book the flight. Being off season, I didn’t have to worry of finding a place to stay in Visby.

It could seem that the stress of going away for a couple of days would deteriorate my exhaustion. Yet, it rather had an opposite effect. Instead of a general anxiety for heavens know why, my trip fever was a very concrete kind of anxiety. And a positive one. As a matter of fact, I ”smiled my way” to the airport for the excitement of doing this good to myself.

One thing contributing to this good is, I believe, the choice of making it a spontaneous adventure. After some days of indecisiveness whether to go or not, then calling the trip off, I finally left home precipitately with a wondrous feeling of being very much alive.

I am so accustomed to secure the control of things, something I believe is one of the reasons for my exhaustion syndrome. Checking and controlling is good, to a certain limit. A colleague said something that has stayed in my mind now for some time: ”The more you check, the more you risk to loose confidence in yourself ” That is actually exactly what has happened and it seems to me that my ability of checking that things are correct is ”broken” at present. I feel confident this capacity will heal in time as I learn not to overuse it.

And so, on my way to healing, I explore the opposite, the letting go of controlling, just like booking the flight ticket when the trip has in fact already started…

Going off season to a place which is very popular in summer was a great advantage. Visby was so calm and peaceful, so much exactly what I needed, a nourishment to my soul and a rest for my mind…

*) The one hour limit is for many SAS flights and might be different for other companies. Also, for destinations abroad, one needs to be aware of the eventual need for e.g. Visas when spontaneously choosing a flight.